There’s a handful of notes on this going “well fuck you, do you know how hard it is to BE the speaker and not have anyone greet you?” and uh, yes, yes I do, because I did those stupid ass soft skills/resilience/insert other assorted nonsense workshops for schools for a living for a while, and I still agree with this.
The key to being an effective speaker is the ability to understand your audience. You need to understand people in order to build a rapport with them. And you need to build a rapport with them in order to effectively guide them from where they are, to where you need them to be.
So. Here is the situation from the perspective of the audience: this random person, whom they have never met before and do not care about, is being paid by employers/school powers that be to come speak on a thing. In other words, the speaker is the one benefitting from being there. Meanwhile, the audience has likely been ordered to be there, for no immediate, tangible benefit in return. It is early in the morning, they are sleep-deprived and under-caffeinated, they have a shit ton of stuff on their to-do list, they are unconvinced whatever the speaker is going to say is going to be of any use or relevance whatsoever, and so they see this talk as a waste of time that they could instead be spending on sleep or at least finishing off things that are actually necessary for work/school. And now this rando, whom I repeat, is supposed to be the service provider, whose presence is already a pain, is asking for even more effort on the audience’s part by asking them to smile and be chipper. All before saying a single other word that might convince said audience that they are going to get any benefit whatsoever out of being there. Fuck that.
You gotta understand, you are not some rock star that people are already invested in and actively want to see. Those get to do the “scream! I can’t hear you! LOUDER!” thing. The fact of the matter is, you are probably someone your audience has no interest in seeing, and until you give them a reason for wanting to be there, you cannot ask them for even more emotional effort. That’s not going to endear them to you.
I am by no means a particularly great speaker, but I can tell you now that I have gotten far more immediate rapport and engagement by simply going “hello hello, morning, how is everyone?” and then when I get the predictably unenthusiastic mass groaning and grumbling, and unenergetic “morning"s back in return, replying "heh, big mood. It’s final project season innit; how sleep deprived are y'all? –yeouch, intense, well I’ll try my best to keep this as painless as I possibly can; I’m here today to talk about–” etc etc. Simple, sympathetic, and while it’s not the most energetic and enthusiastic thing in the world, it puts me on “their” side and opens a connection that I can build on for the rest of the talk, instead of instantly making my audience feel 10x more tired and hostile.
If you are not a speaker being paid to be there, but are instead someone giving a presentation for an assignment or presenting a paper or whatever, then I’ve found that being sincere and a little self-deprecating, possibly just a tiny bit vulnerable works pretty well: “Oh god, so full disclosure, I don’t speak very often and I’m sweating bullets right now, and also I tend to babble like a bullet train when I’m nervous so if at any point you cannot understand me please ask me to slow down, but I have a thing I need to present, and I think it’s pretty cool, and hopefully you do too.” Your audience has probably been in your shoes before, and are now inclined to be nice to you out of sympathy.
In both cases, it’s about understanding your listeners and where you stand in relation to them and using that to build that initial connection. You cannot demand connection; it never fucking works.
Whenever I see anything like this my first thought is that @thebibliosphere will know what these words mean.
Unfortunately, you would be correct.
“Vampire facials”, which many people think is needling but is actually far, far worse, refers to platelet-rich plasma facials, in which blood is taken from a patient, processed in a centrifuge to extract the plasma and then re-injected it into the face. It’s supposed to make the skin “heal” itself because of platelets or some shit, giving you a more youthful look. Kim K helped make it popular after it was on her show but I know she also supposedly regrets it.
It’s uh, controversial to say the least. And not just because it sounds like painful bullshit but because lack of regulation for this sort of thing has lead to a couple of cases of HIV transmission happening.
The penis version is that they’re doing the exact same thing, taking plasma from themselves or a donor and injecting it into the penile tissue, supposedly to treat erectile dysfunction, but a lot of the men doing this are doing it just to get a girthier look.
And if you think I hate knowing all this, you’d be right.
i hope you’re proud of yourself Joy.
god it is three in the morning and i can’t go to bed without inking like several dozen flowers but holy fuck yall
Yes BUT. This specific desk is in a library so a parent that needs to use a library computer can do their work and have a little ease in managing their kiddo. In a library environment this is less productivity culture bullshit and more ‘oh this is a fantastic solution to a difficult situation library staff see 8 times a day’. Is it still productivity culture bullshit because this parent may not have affordable childcare or internet available to them? Yes. Am I glad it exists in a library environment to fill a demonstrated need? Hell yeah.
and keeps library staff from having to act as babysitters…
dear GOD we could use a couple of these. we keep crayons and coloring books on hand for the ones old enough for that, but the wee ones squirming and fussing in laps while the parents are fighting with job applications or convincing gmail’s current 2-step verification to let them in so they can print off a return label (both of which i have seen)? this would be SO NICE.
library groups have been loving this & are spreading the word & actively trying to purchase/create similar things in different systems
